Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Love & Relationships

I had a nice conversation with a friend (name withheld due to confidentiality) just the other day. We were talking about relationships. Friend mentioned that it’s always a little hard to let go of a past relationship until you’ve found someone new. I couldn’t have said it better myself and I added that you won’t really fully let go until you find someone knew. I’m not hinting that I’m still interested in my ex or anything. Although I may sound as if I’m contradicting myself but I have let go of my past relationship. The distance between the both of us really made a huge difference. But there are times when I feel rather lonely that I look back and remember how nice it was to have a girlfriend around. Being my one and only ex, of course there was no one else for me to look back to, so I guess I haven’t fully let go yet. I can’t possibly try to “remember” how “nice” it was to hug Angelina Jolie or someone else right? Of course I can only truly remember how nice it was when it really happened. Although I’ve gotten over the stage of wanting to get back together with her, but I doesn’t change the fact that it felt good to have a girlfriend and it does bring back good memories when I’m feeling all alone. So for my case and apparently friend’s too, we agree that the getting over phase is encouraged to pass faster if there’s someone new in our lives.

Another thing that friend said was we don’t really forget about the people we like before. Although friend was probably referring to a past relationship, but I feel that it is very true for me in the sense of people I’ve liked before, not only past relationships. I mean I’m not the kind that really likes or forgets a person that easily. If I had actually tried to go after a girl and I failed miserably, the feeling of like just doesn’t go away all that easily. After months of minimal communication, the memories of what a great catch she would be flows back into my mind. All the reasons why I liked her previously will just continue gushing back in. There has to be some substantial reasons why I fell for her in the first place. In all honesty, there might not be as much feelings involved this time compared to previously, but just remembering those times makes me wanna know her better all over again. I’m not really the type that can move on with their life after facing rejection. To me, every girl I’ve fallen for are special in their own way and therefore I’ll always remember what was it about them that made me fall or them. Sigh, I wish I could just move on.

Failing one may not mean failing again but falling flat on your face makes you smarter the second time round. Your brain tells you not to embarrass yourself again, yet your heart tells you to give it another try. Well, see how it goes.


Blogger shaun said...

i guess it really depends on how you broke up and how much effort you put in letting go in the first place. if you keep thinking about how lovely it used to be and how it could have been now... all the what ifs, then you'll never move on.

honestly, if you can't let go of a past relationship, starting a new one wouldn't make a difference. moving on to someone else will actually be worse. it's unfair to bring over your excess baggage and unload it to someone else.

the past is beautiful, secure and easy to fall back on but beware of being sucked in for it is the present that determines your future.

9:56 AM  
Blogger kevinleng said...

WAH! Deep! I like! :p

5:27 PM  
Blogger shaun said...

hahaha that's all you have to say ah!?? haha :P

6:12 PM  
Blogger kevinleng said...

ahaha sorry too deep for me... kinda disappointing after such a long comment huh?! i apologize :p

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Azwin said...

Shaun getting all emo on Kev.....Hahahah

9:16 PM  
Anonymous phixsius said...

Very well said Shaun.

I guess it depends on circumstances and personal opinion..I have to agree with Kev, that one may move on faster when someone new is in our lives.

Maybe its the time which is being occupied. Maybe its easier to not think about the past (not dealing with it anymore,in a sense).

I guess 'distraction' is the operative word here.


6:07 PM  

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